How NOT to recruit software engineers

After going through Stanford's recruiting process for a summer internship for the first time (and having been contacted sporadically by headhunters for quite some time), I've been genuinely disappointed in a select few of my interactions with recruiters. A certain subset of recruiters commit some boneheaded errors that one might think would be precluded by an iota of common sense. These missteps waste my time and give the recruiters' respective companies a bad reputation with the students. Additionally, I have no reason to think my experience is unique amongst my fellow engineering student peers. Since my blog is actively read by thousands of recruiters worldwide (well, maybe not, but I'll pretend like it is anyway) I have resolved to better their recruiting process by providing them a few helpful tips on what NOT to do when trying to gather talent:

Schedule appointments unilaterally
Remember, the applicant's life already revolves around your company, so have no qualms about telling him when an interview will be. Never take his schedule or conflicts into account. Never ask if he can make an appointment, simply assume he can.

Don't keep appointments
If you schedule an appointment with a recruit, make sure you do not show up. Optionally, show up at a different time and/or place. The same goes for phone calls: try calling at a different time than which you promised.

Don't follow up after interviews
Feel free to cut off contact with the recruit at any time, for any reason or without reason. Resist closure for the applicant. Never tell him if or why he was or was not accepted for the position.

Strive for an inconsistent message
Make sure the recruit has multiple contacts at the company, and make sure each of them is sending him a different message. Give him the impression that working for your company will entail functioning within a hopelessly mismanaged bureaucracy.

Be annoying
Clog the recruit's inbox with as much irrelevant information as possible. Send multiple copies of the same email. Send the same message over several different mediums (phone, email, pager, carrier pigeon, etc.). Ensure that mandatory forms are filled out multiple times. Redouble your efforts after the recruit says he is not available or not interested.

Treat the applicant like a number, not a person
Make sure the recruit knows that he is just another anonymous cog in the corporate machine. Send out obviously templatized emails that start with things such as "Dear $applicantName." Never make exceptions for an individual's extenuating circumstances.

Never apologize
No matter how badly you screw up, never acknowledge that you did anything wrong. Refuse to apologise. Stand your ground, especially in the case of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

On a related note, if you are a recruiter/interviewer and wondering what you should be doing, please read the authoritative documents on recruiting and interviewing from the Joel on Software blog.